Dear Internet,

How exactly does pointing out “Illuminati” symbols in everything you watch make you feel better about yourself? 

Assuming the symbols ARE placed there to show the involvement of Illuminati… WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? 

According to you, that person with those symbols are Satan worshippers, but you watched their music video or commercial, listened to their songs repeatedly to try and decipher demonic messages hidden within.

Does Satan win because you’ve watched it 15 times with friends and family members to point out the infinite triangles, and double entendres that only other Illuminati members are supposed to catch? 

Are YOU Illuminati? OMG. How else would you know what all that stuff meant? OMG, you were brainwashed. You watched that Jay-Z video, so you secretly do Satan’s bidding now. AM I ILLUMINATI NOW?! SHIT. Call the President. Wait, ISN’T HE ILLUMINATI?! FUCK. There is no winning. WHAT DO WE DOOOOO?! Quick! Put on this foil hat, just in case. FUCKKKKKK, it looks like a triangle. Illuminati wins forever. There is no hope.